Inside the spiders lair you'll find nothing other than the sleeves worn while Ted hid underneath the carpet. He was waiting for the communists, whom he knew hid under the bed, to emerge and lay waste to his pathetic abode. But Ted knew the way they worked, those evil dirty rotten commie bastards. First, his abode; next, the world. Ted is a very sullen man, and he has no love of sleeves. Don't be alarmed though, for Ted is now under the bed, and he will protect you for as long as you're sleeping and dreaming of the flag.
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